Gender: Male (Speculated)
Species: Human
Notable Colors:      Pink
Occupation: Soldier
First Appearance: Episode 86
Latest Appearance: Episode 118

Stalky, originally named Stalky the Stalker is the Fan-Made Original Character of DeviantART user Zerrnichter, who won the Original Character Fan Contest.

He first appears in Episode 86 where he puts a bra beside a sleeping Captain, so he can draw the Captain dressed up in it. Stalky seems to either believe Captain is female or just took the order to "Draw me (Captain) like one of your pretty french girls" litterally.

Aside from entering his room while Captain was sleeping, Stalky went as far as to refill the Captain's coffee mug with hot tea with pink steam. This led to fans speculating that Stalky is the secret source of Captain's never ending tea supply. Another possibility is, that this tea was brewed with the same pink ooze that drove Stalky insane in the first place.

It is unknown how long Stalky has already been following the squad and Stalky's gender has not yet been revealed in the comic. It is also unknown whether he will join Captain's Army, or simply remain in the side-story with the Lifealope.


Stalky first appeared whispering his own version of the poem "O Captain! My Captain!" and refilling Captain's mug while the latter was asleep. Stalky is mostly seen stalking and doing odd things like sketching a nude portrait of the Captain, in an obvious parody of the Titanic movie.

He later seems to have developed an obsession to catch the Lifealope in order to make a pair of fluffy slippers for the Captain from its fur, much to the Lifealope's annoyance. He seems to lack real hunting skills though, as the Lifealope has successfully escaped him more than once. His attempts may be futile anyway, as it is unclear whether the shapeshifting creature can actually be killed. The only reason Stalky may have survived the very hazardous chase so far himself, might be that the Lifealope's presence automatically healed him or even revived him several times already.

As for his background story, some of it can be deducted from his notes in Episode 101. Prior to the apocalypse he seems to have been a soldier whose brigade "fell to the unmentionable horror"; since then, however, he aimlessly wandered the wastes. Till one fateful day, when he came across a note entailing a guide to the "Treasure of Captania." This note was most likely drawn by Pilot, or perhaps by Captain himself. After attempting to discover the 'treasure,' Stalky tripped and fell down a ruined roadway, losing his gasmask's filter as he did. Unfortunately, he landed on an undetonated but broken biohazardous bomb leaking strange pink ooze (biological chemicals), that Stalky remarked "smelled of pancakes". The pink fumes quickly made their way into his body through his now-broken mask, apparently causing him to become obsessed with Captain. Since then, he has found and followed the Captain around.


As a rarely seen character, his personality remains a mystery, besides his constant insane craving for spying on the Captain. When the lifealope scanned his memories, it was shown that Stalky was a relatively sane, if not lonely survivor before he was infected by the pink ooze.

Appearance / Skills and EquipmentEdit

Stalky wears a broken gas mask that covers his face. It has(had  yellow goggles until the pink ooze made the colour pink) pink goggles and a round hole (where the filter broke off), that gives him a slight skull-shaped visage. Since he accidentally inhaled substance from an undetonated but broken biohazardous bomb, Stalky constantly exhales pink smoke with heart-shaped bubbles. He wears a set of military camouflage gear; helmet and pack, black leather jacket reaching to his knees with matching gloves. His pants are identically black with military boots, and a pair of military binoculars are seen hanging by his side. His weapon of choice is a spade.

As he managed to infiltrate the squad's HQ without being noticed, Stalky seems to have some abilities in hiding and sneaking. On the other hand, said HQ was lacking a few walls, so the difficulty level of that task might not have been that high.

Stalky states that he has a permit to operate the Mecha-Battlestations, when he tries to recapture the Liferobot from Lifealope.

Pink SmokeEdit

The pink smoke, as of now, has unknown properties. Stalky is constantly exhaling, in bubble heart shapes, what is suspected to be pink bio-mass from an undetonated bomb he encountered in Episode 102, Consumption. The contents of the bomb are still unknown, though it has been postulated that it is either bacteria, a virus/s or perhaps DNA-altering microbes. The bomb may be a reference to an actual, albeit riddiculus, US weapon idea dubbed the "Gay Bomb". The smoke represents Stalky's addiction to Zee Captain.

Retconned Edit

Stalky seems to have been retconned out of the comic. The character only appears on the site's info page but not in the actual comic itself.

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