• inside, there's a nasty surprise!
  • some examples of the "blue tiaras" as we don't see pilot's own

This is an overview-list of the most important items, which the Captain and his minions have either in their possession or discovered in the wasteland. For more informations about a certain object of interest, please follow the links to the related main articles.

The mug and the straw

The Mug

Captain's mug looks like any other normal mug, meant to contain hot beaverages. It is white, with a broad black stripe and a red heart on it. It has it's secrets, though. Neither Snippy nor Pilot are allowed to touch or refill it. Captain seems not to refill it either, so where does the tea he's always drinking (or throwing at his enemies) come from? And why is it always scalding hot?

The straw

To drink without removing his gasmask, the Captain uses a white bendy Straw. Due to an incident in the past he isn't willing to share it with anybody. According to Mr. Snippy this is the only non-radioactive straw in a radius of 10,000 miles.

The bag of Cancer summoning aka the Hello Cancer purse

An all purpose mobile storage device found by Captain on the arm of a mannequin doll in the wasteland. The bag is a black ladies-handbag with a happy cat's face doodle on one side.

The recruitment note

A flier written by Captain in the hopes to attract more minions to the ranks of his army.

Box of radioactive Spiders

A pretty, big, black box with a red stripe and a heart on it. It's full of radioactive spiders.

Red balloons

The only flying machine Pilot has managed to get to work so far was a lawnchair with dozens of red, helium filled balloons tied to it. Pilot has tied the same sort of balloons to almost anything else he came across in the wasteland as well, even an enraged crawler monster, which he later named Photoshop.

Mr. Kittyhawk

The 'evil' plush toy companion of Pilot. The origin and the current whereabouts of the stuffed puffin are unknown.

The pinwheel

A pretty four-coloured pinwheel found by Pilot somewhere in the wasteland. Its qualities as a flying machine have yet to be tested.

The red scooter

A toy discovered by the Captain in a display window of a shop for the incredible x-mas special sales price of only 99.99.

The Geiger-counter

A device for measuring radioactivity, found in the wasteland by Mr. Snippy.


A birthday cake discovered by Captain in the underground tunnel system, surrounded by a group of skeletons with party-hats.

Blue Tiara

A broken neural interface in Pilot's possession, of the kind that were used to connect people with the ANNET before the apocalypse.

Pants Parachute

Zee Captain robbed an alien commander of it's pants to turn them into a parachute. With this item he and Snippy managed to safely escape from aboard the damaged flying saucer.

Mr. Snippy Bomb

A nuke with a portrait of Mr. Snippy doodled on the side. Was left by the Captain as collateral on the dissection table of a flying saucer. Also referred to as Snippy's atomic doppleganger.

Property Note

A note reading 'PROPERTY OF CAPTEIN' with a large selfportrait of the Captain on it. Hostile wastelanders found it on Mr. Snippy.

Captania Treasure-Map

Map found by Stalky in the wasteland. Drawn by either Captain or maybe Pilot.

The Rubix Cube

A toy in Mr. Snippy's possession he uses to pass the time, when he is bored.

Letter by Pilot

A taunting letter sent to Mr. Snippy, who was trapped inside a whale at that time. Made Snippy angry enough to fight his way out of the whale's blowhole, row all the way back to the beach and beat up Pilot.

Holy Parchment

Holy script worshipped by the lemonade cultists. It's actually a sticker from a softdrink bottle.

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