|Species:||Maybe a human|
|Aliases:|| Zee Captain|
|First Appearance:||Episode 1|
|Latest Appearance:||Episode 124|
The Captain, or Zee Captein, is the egocentric commander of the Crew, consisting of: Captain, Pilot, Sniper, and Engineer. Captain is quite eccentric, seems slightly unhinged, and yet is probably the last person anyone wishes to pick a fight with.
The word "Zee" before his name is a stereotype of the German accent when saying "the".
Captain's history is sketchy, at best. Captain claims to have been born "A little girl" in "Germany". Further he tells a story about the time he was a child, when young Captain met a deranged man who wanted to "suck out [Captain's] precious eyeball juices with [his] straw". And Captain claims that he refuses to share straws with anyone due to this incident.
Furthermore Captain claims the incident happened 20 years back. Since the young Captain from his memory looks hardly older than 10 years, this would mean that Captain is either in his late 20s or early 30s.
Unfortunately Captain is a very unreliable source of information.
What is confirmed is, that Captain was the subject of Project 7, which aimed to find the luckiest person on earth. Due to this he was raised to the rank of a captain and was allowed access to ANNET's Core Room, where he proceeded to spill hot tea on the servers. This caused ANNET to malfunction and attempt to reprogram or kill every human in existence. Dr. Gromov and a few others escaped presumably due to their admin privileges. How Captain escaped is unclear, but it was possibly due to his trademark luck.Captain speaks with a German accent. And it is stated by Snippy, that he uses a voice changer. His true gender is so far unknown, however Mr. Snippy believes Captain is male.
AppearanceZee Captain is clad in a heavy, dark grey trenchcoat, black leather boots and black leather gloves. A shroud, a black gas mask with dual filters and purple goggles obscures his face. A commander's hat rests upon his head with a red band around it and a single, silver star ornament on the front side. Captain is nearly never seen without his trademark mug, which has been known to contain various liquids ranging from tea to water to sugary death water. Captain drinks by using a straw, without removing his mask.
Later he acquired what seems to be the flesh of the apocalyptic alien creature known as Cancer and wears it as a scarf around his neck.
In the Ancestors Story Arc, The Captain temporarily lost all of his headwear, including his scarf, but as the running gag with the Captain normally goes, any features suggesting his or her true gender are hidden from view, including what the Captains true face appears to be. Further in the arc, when Snippy crashlands on Captain, after falling from orbit, it appears that the still unmasked Captain's head is either invisible or that Captain has no face at all. Unfortunately Snippy's hand is in the way and obscuring most of the view.
A running gag in the comic is the uncertainty about Captain's exact gender. Captain refers to himself being a girl as well as a lad growing up, and in one comic Captain asks Sniper to "grab [his] boob". The comic's creator posted on his blog that male actors, female actors and even his wife model for Captain "so Zee Captain can be ALL genders!" However in his askblog on Tumblr Mr. Snippy replied, when asked about this topic, that there was only a very low possibility of Captain being female.
It is seen in one of the comics, that Captain puts on and wears a red bra, though he might just be a little crazy. Another hint that Captain might be a female appears in Snippy's blog entry from the time when his memories were read by The Biomass, however, these memories are jumbled so it might not be true: He refers to Pilot and Captain as 'the green-eyed man-child-robot' and 'the purpled-eyed girl', respectively. Pilot, too, might think of Captain as female, as suggested by his letter to Mr. Snippy in the whale.
According to Captain's song, the lines ♪We've altered your DNA, we've twisted your chromosomes!♪ might refer to the possibility that Captain was born female, but was changed to male, possibly for survival: ♪You'll outlive us all, you'll outlive us all!♪
The Captain is probably the least sane of the crew, except perhaps for Pilot. Zee Captain is fanciful and absent minded, but is also extremely hard to best - no matter how bad the situation seems to become, Captain has managed to escape a multitude of dangerous enemies, including an angry cult and a horde of Cancer-zombies - however, the latter was only thanks to the intervention of Sniper, who was captured as a result.
Skills and EquipmentThe Captain's main power is constant good luck. Captain seems to suffer from a permanent Deus Ex Machina complex - no matter how bad the situation becomes, Captain is always able to save the day. It is likely that this is the primary trait which made him a perfect candidate for Project 7.
Captain's primary weapon, if it can be called that, is his mug filled with scalding to scorching hot tea. He has at least once used its incredibly hazardous contents to disable an alien robot. According to Snippy's journal, Captain has also used it to threaten subordinates into submission when they refused to carry out a particular mission. For a brief period, Captain was in possession of a slice of very stale - and presumably radioactive - cake. When threatened, Captain was able to throw this cake with enough force and accuracy to kill an alien invader through its helmet. Captain is also shown to have a "magic satchel", often pulling things, such as a mustache over his gas mask, out of nowhere.
Captain's face is as much a mystery as Pilot's; they are the only two cast members who have not been unmasked, although it is dubious whether Stalky counts as a cast member. However, it seems even his face is a weapon, as he caused an Alien's head to explode merely by his gazing upon it.
Living 404 Error: It seems impossible (at least for hostile aliens) to scan, detect or lock on Captain with technology. So far the first group of alien invaders, the Biomatrix 117 and the Arbitrator all had the same problems finding or targeting Captain.
The Captain also seems to be able to defy the laws of everything. Incredibly, the Captain is able to stand before a black hole, unaffected by the vacuum. He apparently intends to drink the vortex dry with his Straw. As of Episode 117, he appears to have successfully done so. He was also able to save Sniper and the Biomatrix after they landed on him, and was unaffected by it in any way.
The Captain's mug has, as of Episode 95, shown to be an assassin hired by an unknown party to kill the Captain along with several other (probably robotic) objects, namely a ladybug and the straw. it is unknown if Captain knows about this or not.
This is another display of Captain's constant luck. Even such a powerful force such as the Mug was incapable of killing him, stating that "it needed more time." The Mug was even able to destroy one of the highest authorities of the Union (the Arbitrator, who even had the authority to summon a black hole to consume a planet) instantly,
The evil mastermind behind the assassins might be the ANNET, or it could be a new yet unknown enemy.
|Captain • Engineer • Pilot • Sniper|
|Lemonade Cult • Stalky • Wastelanders • Other Survivors|