Captain

Captain
Gender:	Unspecified
Species:	Human
Notable Colors:	Purple
	Red
Occupation:	Captain
Aliases:	Zee Captain Captein Subject 7
First Appearance:	1 Episode Episode 1
Latest Appearance:	103 Episode Episode 103

The Captain, or Zee Captein, is the egocentric commander of the Crew, consisting of: Captain, Pilot, Sniper, and Engineer. Captain is quite eccentric, seems slightly unhinged, and yet is probably the last person anyone wishes to pick a fight with.

The color associated with Captain is purple/red.

Background

Young Captain

Captain's history is sketchy, at best. Captain claims to have been born "A little girl" in "Germany". Further he tells a story about the time he was a child, when young Captain met a deranged man who wanted to "suck out [Captain's] precious eyeball juices with [his] straw". And Captain claims that he refuses to share straws with anyone due to this incident. Unfortunately Captain is a very unreliable source of information.

What is confirmed is, that Captain was the subject of Project 7, which aimed to find the luckiest person on earth. Due to this he was raised to the rank of a captain and was allowed access to ANNET's Core Room, where he proceeded to spill hot tea on the servers. This caused ANNET to malfunction and attempt to reprogram or kill every human in existance. Dr. Gromov and a few others escaped presumably due to their admin privileges. How Captain escaped is unclear, but it was possibly due to his trademark luck.

Captain speaks with a German accent. And it is stated by Snippy, that he uses a voice changer. His true gender is so far unknown, however Mr. Snippy believes Captain is male.

Appearance

The Captain's outfit

Zee Captain is clad in a heavy, dark grey trenchcoat, black leather boots and black leather gloves. A shroud, a black gas mask with dual filters and pink/purple goggles obscures his face. A commander's hat rests upon his head with a red band around it and a single, silver star ornament on the front side. Captain is nearly never seen without his trademark mug, which has been known to contain various liquids ranging from tea to water to sugary death water. Captain drinks by using a straw, without removing his mask.

Later he acquired what seems to be the flesh of the apocalyptic alien creature known as Cancer and wears it as a scarf around his neck.

Gender

A running gag in the comic is the uncertainity about Captain's exact gender. Captain refers to himself being a girl as well as a lad growing up, and in one comic Captain asks Sniper to "grab [his] boob". The comic's creator posted on his blog that male actors, female actors and even his wife model for Captain "so Zee Captain can be ALL genders!" However in his askblog on Tumblr Mr. Snippy replied, when asked about this topic, that there was only a very low possibility of Captain being female.

It is seen in one of the comics, that Captain puts on and wears a red bra, though he might just be a little crazy. Another hint that Captain might be a female appears in Snippy's blog entry from the time when his memories were read by The Biomass, however, these memories are jumbled so it might not be true: He refers to Pilot and Captain as 'the green-eyed man-child-robot' and 'the purpled-eyed girl', respectively.

According to Captain's song, the lines ♪We've altered your DNA, we've twisted your chromosomes!♪ might refer to the possibility that Captain was born female, but was changed to male, possibly for survival: ♪You'll outlive us all, you'll outlive us all!♪

Personality

The Captain is probably the least sane of the crew, except perhaps for Pilot. Zee Captain is fanciful and absent minded, but is also extremely hard to best - no matter how bad the situation seems to become, Captain has managed to escape a multitude of dangerous enemies, including an angry cult and a horde of Cancer-zombies - however, the latter was only thanks to the intervention of Sniper, who was captured as a result.

Skills and Equipment

T

Captain Throwing Cake. "I kill you in the name of delicious!"

he Captain's main power is constant good luck. Captain seems to suffer from a permanent Deus Ex Machina complex - no matter how bad the situation becomes, Captain is always able to save the day. It is likely that this is the primary trait which made him a perfect candidate for Project 7.

Captain's primary weapon, if it can be called that, is his mug filled with scalding to scorching hot tea. He has at least once used it's incredibly hazardous contents to disable an alien robot. According to Snippy's journal, Captain has also used it to threaten subordinates into submission when they refused to carry out a particular mission. For a brief period, Captain was in possession of a slice of very stale - and presumably radioactive - cake. When threatened, Captain was able to throw this cake with enough force and accuracy to kill an alien invader through its helmet. Captain is also shown to have a "magic satchel", often pulling things, such as a mustache over his gas mask, out of nowhere.

Captain's face is as much a mystery as Pilot's; they are the only two cast members who have not been unmasked, although it is dubious whether Stalky counts as a cast member. However, it seems even his face is a weapon, as he caused an Alien's head to explode merely by his gazing upon it.

Living 404 Error: It seems impossible (at least for hostile aliens) to scan, detect or lock on Captain with technology. So far the first group of alien invaders, the Biomatrix 117 and the Arbitrator all had the same problems finding or targetting Captain.

According to Mr. Snippy's Geiger-counter, Captain is the single most radioactive object in the wasteland.

The Mug

The Captain's mug has, as of comic 95, shown to be a assassin hired by an unknown party to kill the Captein along with several other (probably robotic) objects, namely a ladybug and the straw. it is unknown if Captein knows about this or not.

The evil mastermind behind the assassins might be the ANNET, or it could be a new yet unknown enemy.